Friday, February 11, 2011

A Timeshare "Joke"

There's an old timeshare joke that I'd like to share with you today.

A timeshare salesperson dies and is offered a choice of heaven or hell. Being a cautious type person, he asks to see both places before he chooses.

His "guide" first shows him heaven. Lots of angels playing harps, floating around on clouds, surrounded by people the salesperson has never seen.

Next, they visit hell. Here the salesperson sees lots of his old friends, laughing, eating pizza, player poker, and having a great time.

The salesperson thinks for a moment and then informs the guide that hell will have to be his choice.

Half a second later, the salesperson finds himself chained to a wall of fire and brimstone, the beer, pizza and poker are nowhere in sight and the temperature is unbearable.

He sees his guide off to the side and cries out to him..."hey, hey, hey,this is not what you showed me."

The guide smile and simply replies, "That was the model."

Cute joke until it happens to you.

This morning, I'm attending a timeshare HOA meeting that has been pulling this timeshare "joke" on it's owners and prospective owners for more than a year. The "model" is full of new furniture, has been freshly painted, has new stainless steel appliances, new carpeting and nice homey decorator touches.

The reality is that the cabinets are falling off the hinges, the furniture has not been replaced in more than 10 years, the carpeting (where it still exists) is threadbare and dirty, almost every room is missing something important like a coffee maker, patio furniture is missing, patio screens are torn and the place bears no resemblance to the word "resort" which it has the audacity to include in its name.

In other words, it's a timeshare joke and not a funny one. I'll be reporting on what the owners have to say about this next week.

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