I originally wrote this almost four years ago...I've made a few minor edits...
The Preamble to The Timeshare Consumers’ and Timeshare Salespersons’ Mutual Bill of Rights
In Orlando, and in all jurisdictions where timeshare sales presentations occur, the timeshare consumer and the timeshare salesperson, long at odds, have expressed a desire to come to an agreement in order to prevent miscommunication and/or abuse of their respective powers.
Therefore, it is resolved by both the timeshare consumer and the timeshare salesperson, including the timeshare resort and the broker, that these Mutual Bill of Right be adopted this, the fourth day of July, two thousand and six.
The articles shall make valid and shall be for all intents and purposes “the law” that governs the relationship between the timeshare consumer and the timeshare salesperson.
The Timeshare Consumers’ and Timeshare Salespersons’ Mutual Bill of Rights
1. The consumer shall have the right to not be judged as poor, rich, a mooch, stupid, too old, too young, owners of too many weeks of timeshare or anything else IF AND ONLY IF said consumer does not judge the salesperson as a thief, a liar, stupid, too old to communicate, too young to know anything or anything else…until at least 15 minutes into the presentation.
2. The consumer has the right to request another salesperson if the salesperson tells them that they need to hurry up and decide if they want to buy because they have a 12:00 tee-time IF AND ONLY IF the consumer doesn’t tell the salesperson to hurry up and get on with it because they have another timeshare presentation scheduled at 12:00.
3. The consumer has the right to ask if the salesperson is licensed if in fact the presentation is taking place in a jurisdiction where a license is required IF AND ONLY IF the consumer is prepared to prove to the salesperson that they are gainfully employed and earn more than $50,000 per year.
4. The consumer has the right to call the salesperson a liar to their face if they use the words FREE, PERFECT, ALWAYS and/or NEVER IF AND ONLY IF the salesperson has the right to call the consumer a liar to their face if they use the excuse “we’re buying a house”, or “we don’t vacation”.
5. The consumer has the right to check the salesperson’s math and call them on any errors they may find IF AND ONLY IF the salesperson has a right to check the math on the $250,000 mortgage that the client said they just signed.
6. The consumer has the right to walk out on the timeshare presentation (without the gift offered as a bribe by the marketing company) at any time if the salesperson disrespects them IF AND ONLY IF the salesperson reserves the right to keep the consumer for 3+ hours if the consumer disrespects them and/or sits silently and not answer any of the salesperson’s questions.
7. The consumer has the right to not purchase anything at any time during the presentation IF AND ONLY IF the decision is made on solid information and not on some “pact” that was made prior to walking into the sales center.
8. The salesperson has the right to ask the consumer to purchase 3 or 4 times IF AND ONLY IF the salesperson does not utter the phrase, “Buyers are liars…liars are buyers” at any time.
9. The consumer has the right not to believe the “fact” that the timeshare they can purchase today for only $10,000 will be worth $20,000 in 10 years IF AND ONLY IF the consumer doesn’t tell the salesperson that they are still paying $40 for a good hotel room just like they were doing 10 years ago.
10. Finally, the consumer and the salesperson both have the right and the responsibility to spread the truth about the timeshare industry, in an attempt to bring positive changes.
In Orlando, and in all jurisdictions where timeshare sales presentations occur, the timeshare consumer and the timeshare salesperson, long at odds, have expressed a desire to come to an agreement in order to prevent miscommunication and/or abuse of their respective powers.
Therefore, it is resolved by both the timeshare consumer and the timeshare salesperson, including the timeshare resort and the broker, that these Mutual Bill of Right be adopted this, the fourth day of July, two thousand and six.
The articles shall make valid and shall be for all intents and purposes “the law” that governs the relationship between the timeshare consumer and the timeshare salesperson.
The Timeshare Consumers’ and Timeshare Salespersons’ Mutual Bill of Rights
1. The consumer shall have the right to not be judged as poor, rich, a mooch, stupid, too old, too young, owners of too many weeks of timeshare or anything else IF AND ONLY IF said consumer does not judge the salesperson as a thief, a liar, stupid, too old to communicate, too young to know anything or anything else…until at least 15 minutes into the presentation.
2. The consumer has the right to request another salesperson if the salesperson tells them that they need to hurry up and decide if they want to buy because they have a 12:00 tee-time IF AND ONLY IF the consumer doesn’t tell the salesperson to hurry up and get on with it because they have another timeshare presentation scheduled at 12:00.
3. The consumer has the right to ask if the salesperson is licensed if in fact the presentation is taking place in a jurisdiction where a license is required IF AND ONLY IF the consumer is prepared to prove to the salesperson that they are gainfully employed and earn more than $50,000 per year.
4. The consumer has the right to call the salesperson a liar to their face if they use the words FREE, PERFECT, ALWAYS and/or NEVER IF AND ONLY IF the salesperson has the right to call the consumer a liar to their face if they use the excuse “we’re buying a house”, or “we don’t vacation”.
5. The consumer has the right to check the salesperson’s math and call them on any errors they may find IF AND ONLY IF the salesperson has a right to check the math on the $250,000 mortgage that the client said they just signed.
6. The consumer has the right to walk out on the timeshare presentation (without the gift offered as a bribe by the marketing company) at any time if the salesperson disrespects them IF AND ONLY IF the salesperson reserves the right to keep the consumer for 3+ hours if the consumer disrespects them and/or sits silently and not answer any of the salesperson’s questions.
7. The consumer has the right to not purchase anything at any time during the presentation IF AND ONLY IF the decision is made on solid information and not on some “pact” that was made prior to walking into the sales center.
8. The salesperson has the right to ask the consumer to purchase 3 or 4 times IF AND ONLY IF the salesperson does not utter the phrase, “Buyers are liars…liars are buyers” at any time.
9. The consumer has the right not to believe the “fact” that the timeshare they can purchase today for only $10,000 will be worth $20,000 in 10 years IF AND ONLY IF the consumer doesn’t tell the salesperson that they are still paying $40 for a good hotel room just like they were doing 10 years ago.
10. Finally, the consumer and the salesperson both have the right and the responsibility to spread the truth about the timeshare industry, in an attempt to bring positive changes.
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